In my day..
if you wanted ops.. you had to walk 80 miles through 2 metres drifts of snow over to the server and edit your user file with vi, and before you could do that you had to load vi first using nothing but a box of punch cards and a compass.
you still had to wait 3 days while other jobs completed.... hmm flooders were a problem back then.. but they could only flood one line of text per cpu cycle so it wasnt so bad.
if you wanted to kick out a lamer from your chat room.. you had to walk over to their house.. kick them out of their chair and unplug their audio coupler.
if you wanted to ban a user from your chat room.. you had to take out a restraining order.
if you wanted to g-line a user, you had to go over to their house personally and confiscate their modem cable.
we didn't have winnuke. we had to illegally obtain weapons-grade plutonium, a nuclear scientist, and an bomber to nuke someone's computer..
if we wanted java chat, we would go to the local coffee house
if we wanted to build a decent server we would have to buy a city block and get a zoning permit from the local council
if we wanted to telnet to a machine, we would have to buy, borrow or steal a dumb terminal
if we wanted to use notepad, we would have to go out and buy one from the newsagent
if we wanted to remotely administor a machine, took a really long extension lead, and a terminal
if we wanted to send a packet to someones computer, we had to use the postal service
if we wanted to communicate with computers over a large distance, we had to use telegrams
if we wanted high density disks, we had to use a press
if we wanted to put data on a CD, we had to invent the CD first, and then use a sharp object and a magnifying glass to write data to it
if we wanted to change our nickname, we had to have access to our FBI file and some liquid paper
the only DCC we had was if we hired a courier to take a box of punch cards across town for us
the only network we had was our list of manufacturers who supplied radio valves
if we wanted to crash some ones computer, we would hijak the trucks transporting it, and drive them off a cliff
if we wanted to /kill a user, we had to formulate a fool proof plan, make up a good alibi, have the user killed, and then cover up the evidence
if we needed a wallop, we would get one of the operators to stand near the wall and hold up a sign
an idle process was when you had a power failure, and your punch cards hadn't finished getting fed into the computer
the main internet chat we ever had, was if we got lost in the conduit tunnels, and got tangled up in the network of wires and had to call for help
the only services we had were the ones we would hire to do work for us, if they failed we would fire them and hire someone else
the only IRC chat client I had was telnet, and a copy of rfc1459
Thanks to all the guys in #ASD on austnet.
Many of you work tirelessly without pay to
keep austnet a safe place to chat,
without you I wouldnt have come up with most of these
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